Welcome
I'm Nhan
I help couples improve their communication so they enjoy a deeply connected, intimate and lasting relationship.
Can relationship skills change your life?
For me, it meant being ready to build a great relationship when I met my partner. Bringing my whole self, having awareness of my own gremlins, thought patterns and triggers, remembering what’s most important – us together as a couple, our relationship.
Learning those relationship skills and practicing them help (the process doesn’t stop, that’s the exciting bit!) me create a relationship together with my partner, where both of our needs are voiced and heard, where we are both open to communicate (he’s definitely better at this) even the hard things, to learn from each other. We grow together and so does our relationship.
- Be me. Bring my full voice into the relationship.
- My partner is not me, we have our differences. The beauty is in seeing those differences and learning from them to appreciate and accept them for who they are.
- Conflict is normal, even in the strongest relationships. Conflict can be good for your relationship if you know how to communicate, resolve and repair.
- Stay curious, about my partner and myself. Things change, you change but you can grow together.
- Show appreciation often, let them know you cherish them.
These are examples of some things I realised on my journey, and I’m fascinated about how much there is still for me to learn about relationships, human behaviour, the psychology behind it.
I keep learning to make my relationship better and to share this knowledge with you.
About Me
Back in 2018, I signed up for a 1:1 relationship coaching programme, when I was getting a bit hopeless about ever finding the one… This is where it all started for me, my growth journey.
One of the questions my coach asked me was how would I tell my boyfriend (imaginary at the time) if I wasn’t happy about something like him not cleaning up after himself. I felt uncomfortable…
What do you mean how I would tell him?
Old Nhan would not talk about it, letting things build up, and getting emotionally disengaged, distanced. She would avoid conflict.
New Nhan (still a work in progress) needs some time to reflect on it, on why she’s upset, annoyed, frustrated, whatever the emotions are. She knows now that not saying anything only creates distance and will push his patience. She knows that it’s also about how she communicates it to him, and being open to hearing his side of the story.
What I knew about relationships came from my family, modelling my parents, social expectations often conditioned in us, popular culture, the movie industry, etc… That’s not how things work in real life though. Every relationship is unique because the partners are unique, bringing in their own beliefs, values, experiences, and we have to find what work for us in our relationship.
Since my first experience with coaching in 2018, I’ve been on a journey of learning more about myself, challenging and unlearning some beliefs, and it opened up a beautiful world of human behaviour, psychology, and how our mind works. It led me to certifying as a life coach, but deep down I always wanted to go into relationships. The dynamics, the interaction between the two people, the effect it can have on us – it’s a topic I was always curious about. So I trained to become a relationship coach.
Seeing what difference this knowledge can make to relationships, saving two loving partners from unnecessary pain and struggle, and helping them enjoy all the beautiful things a healthy relationship can bring is why I’m so passionate about what I do.
My wish is to be able to help couples out there have amazing, inspiring relationships that fill them up with joy.